Welcome to Edition #87 of Gorick's newsletter, where Harvard career adviser and Wall Street Journal bestselling author Gorick Ng shares what they don't teach you in school about how to succeed in your career.
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STORY
How to persist like Demi Moore
“You’re just a popcorn actress.”
It’s 1995. Hollywood actress Demi Moore, then age 33, is in the middle of filming her upcoming movie.
The comment, from an unnamed movie producer, referenced the term “popcorn movie.” It’s a phrase used to describe an “entertaining film with little depth,” and by Moore’s own standards, it wasn’t a compliment.
The next year, Moore’s new movie, called Striptease, came out. The film followed the story of an FBI agent turned stripper—and it also gave Moore a $12.5 million payday, effectively making her the “highest-paid actress in Hollywood.”
But the movie “failed to hit the mark with audiences.”
Then, movie critics piled on:
“Who told Demi Moore she can act? She can't. End of discussion.”
“Moore's body is in better shape than her acting.”
“Yet another case of the star's salary being much more interesting, and exuberantly vulgar, than anything the screen reveals.”
It was clear: The film was a flop. As for Moore, people labeled her as “box office poison.”
The following year, in 1997, Moore won the “Golden Raspberry” AKA “Razzie”—Hollywood’s infamous award show for “worst of” movies, scripts, and the like—for her role in Striptease as “Worst Actress.”
Then, in 1998, Moore won another “Razzie”—this time for the movie G.I. Jane—as “Worst Actress,” again.
So, that producer’s comment about Moore being a “popcorn actress”? Moore’s deepest insecurities were somehow coming true.
But Moore persisted—and, over the next 20 years, Moore continued acting, but the critical reception of her films was rocky at best.
The occasional movie did well (like Margin Call, which received an 87% on Rotten Tomatoes). More often, though, the movies (like LOL, which received a 14% on Rotten Tomatoes) flopped.
Moore’s plummeting confidence "corroded” her “to the point where I thought a few years ago that maybe this was it [for my career].”
Then, around 2022, Moore received a script.
The script was for a movie called The Substance and it was about a “fading celebrity” who uses an illicit drug to “create a younger, better version of herself.”
When Moore read the script, she knew it was for her: “The universe told me that you’re not done.”
The Substance was released in 2024 and received a 90% score on Rotten Tomatoes.
Then, the critics showed up—but, this time, with praise: “Demi Moore seizes the role of her lifetime.” “Moore’s extraordinary, best-of-career performance.” “The greatest of [Demi Moore’s] career.”
Just 4 months later, during the 2025 Golden Globes, Moore received “Best Actress” for her role in The Substance. In her acceptance speech, Moore spoke about the “popcorn actress” comment. The Golden Globe is her first major acting award in her 45 year-long career.
UNSPOKEN RULE
Opinions are not facts
Moore’s story is a great reminder of something that I need to remind myself of almost every day (and that I’d urge you to remind yourself of, too): Opinions are not facts.
Consider this: Moore’s 30-year emotional roller coaster started with a single comment: “You’re just a popcorn actress.”
Was she a popcorn actress? Who gets to decide, anyways? Moreover, how could anyone claim to know the destiny of a mere 33 year old?
Some industries can have an especially hurtful feedback culture. Entertainment is probably #1. I’m not sure what’s #2, but, as a recovering investment banker and management consultant with lots of friends in law, I’d rank professional services high on the list.
If you happen to work in professional services, you know: It’s stressful enough to deal with the tight deadlines, the “up or out” culture, and the constant need to put up a facade of perfection.
The last thing you need is for someone to tell you, “What the hell is this?! Try again” (which was the exact feedback I once got).
Here’s what I’ve since realized—and that I talk about in my online course under the module, “How to Navigate Feedback and One-On-Ones”:
“Feedback is subjective. It's not a law of the universe. It just reflects what your manager wants and values.”
So, the next time you receive some harsh words, remember Moore—who learned, grew, and, most importantly, persisted.
What’s an “unspoken rule”? They’re the things that separate those who get ahead from those who stumble—and don’t know why. You can learn more about these rules in the workplace in my Wall Street Journal bestselling book called—you guessed it—The Unspoken Rules.
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STRATEGY
How to rebuild your confidence
We all get our confidence shaken at times. A big project takes a nosedive. A piece of feedback strikes a nerve. You lose an important client or, worse, your job.
When I feel like I’ve “failed,” I’ve found it helpful to deconstruct the situation into 3 parts:
- What actually happened
- Why it happened
- What people think
What actually happened:
- In Moore’s case, perhaps she was “miscast”: She could have done well—but the character she had to portray just didn’t fit her persona. Or, she had something else going on in her life that didn’t allow her to show up as her best self. Who knows.
- In my case, that “what the hell” moment happened because I was thrown into a super time sensitive technical project I had no background in. I was behind the minute I joined.
Why it happened:
- In Moore’s case, we can only guess at the exact cause: Was she screwed over by some backroom political decision? Was everything else about the film terrible—and she became the go-to person to blame? Or, did she simply lack experience?
- I knew exactly why my “what the hell” moment happened: Because my predecessor left suddenly with no documentation for the next person (me). Instead, I inherited a bunch of “skeletons in the closet” (corporate jargon for “problems that someone hid away hoping that no one would notice that makes the next person’s job a living hell”). I also had no experience whatsoever in this kind of work—nor did I particularly enjoy it.
What people think:
- In Moore’s case, the critics were clear: She sucked and had no future as an actress.
- In my case, I received a devastating performance evaluation that implied (and honestly confirmed) that I had no idea what I was doing (and that made me feel utterly worthless).
I’ve found it helpful to “zoom out” and not fixate on just what people think. And when I zoom out, I can then more clearly see:
A) I’m not worthless, and
B) I probably have at least one thing to learn.
Someone once told me, “If you hear the same thing more than 3 times from 3 different people, you really need to look at it.”
The same is true for feedback and failure in our careers. You’ll want to collect more data points to sort out whether your “failure” was an anomaly… or, if there’s something potentially career-limiting that you need to pay attention to.
In my case, my next project sealed the deal: I’m just not going to be the best number cruncher. But the universe was also telling me something else! That I should focus on my strengths in writing and presenting.
Similarly, it seems fair to assume that Moore is not the same person she was at 33 as she is today at 62.
We all change. The important thing is that you don’t just change—but grow.
ASK GORICK ANYTHING
What are my exit opportunities?
Q: “What's a viable exit opportunity for a M&A Advisor / Business Broker?”
—A
Gorick:
Hi A!
Thanks for your question. It’s tricky to give you specific jobs and companies, but I do have a few frameworks that I hope you’ll find helpful.
All jobs roughly fall under 1 of 3 categories:
- Operators (people who do stuff)
- Advisors (people who give advice to people who do stuff)
- Investors (people who give money to people who do stuff)
In your case, you’re an advisor—you give advice to operators (company executives) on what other companies to buy or merge with. Adjacent to you are investors like hedge funds or private equity funds that buy the companies you’re advising.
So, your first step is to ask yourself: “Do I want to stay in my lane or switch lanes?”
- If you like rolling up your sleeves and getting things done (even if it means staring at the same people and technical problems all day), operations is for you.
- If you like having a bird’s eye view across a lot of different domains (even if it means not having ownership over any single problem), advisory is for you.
- If you like analyzing things and making decisions—and maybe giving advice (even if it means not being able to see the tangible impact of your work), investing is for you.
If you want to stay in advisory, look for another business advisory role, perhaps at one of your competitors.
If you want to switch to operations, start by seeing if you’d like working for any of your clients.
If you want to switch to investing, start by seeing if you’d like working for anyone you may have met through your work who’s on the “buy side.”
Why am I suggesting that you start with the people you know or used to know? Because this is your fastest way to land a job.
Have you read this far and are thinking, “But what if I want to move as far away from my current world of work as possible?” If so, be patient.
Navigating your career is like playing Battleship the board game.
In Battleship, you've got rows and columns—and the game is all about guessing which row and column the opponent is hiding a ship.
In career navigation, you've also got rows and columns—it's just that the rows are "functions" and the columns are "industries."
Industries are a group of companies that do a certain thing. Energy, healthcare, finance, real estate, aerospace—these are all industries.
Functions are like departments inside of a company. Sales, marketing, HR, operations—these are all functions.
The intersection of an industry and a function is a role—like pharmaceutical sales or consumer product marketing.
Here’s the reality of switching jobs or careers:
- The easiest career move is to stay within the same industry and function.
- E.g., if you went from M&A advisor for tech companies to M&A advisor for tech companies but at a competitor firm
- A slightly harder career move is to switch industries or functions
- E.g., if you went from M&A advisor for tech companies to (a) M&A advisor for industrials companies (industry change) OR sales at a tech company (function change)
- The hardest move career is to switch industry and function at the same time
- E.g., if you went from M&A advisor for tech companies to HR at an insurance company
It’s definitely possible to make the hardest move! But you may find it easier to break down a single hard move into two smaller, easier moves first.
Let me know what you decide!
—Gorick
4 things from me that you might find useful:
1. Keynote speaking: My 2025 calendar is filling up! (Up next: Harvard Law School next week.) If your organization is looking for speakers for graduation season, manager training, new hire / early career orientation, AAPI Heritage Month, ERG summits, or something else, let’s chat!
2. HOW TO SAY IT: Flashcards that teach you to know what to say in every high-stakes professional setting. Get 260 fill-in-the-blank scripts and self-guided video tutorials. Free shipping on all orders over $40.
3. The Early Career Success Masterclass: My online course that takes you from day 1 in a new role through to a promotion with 28 modules and 28 cheatsheets (3.5 hours of content).
4. The Unspoken Rules: My Wall Street Journal Bestseller that Arianna Huffington calls “a blueprint for anyone starting their career, entering a new role, or wanting to get unstuck.” Used by top companies and MBA programs.
You may also like:
> What a $10 billion telescope can teach us about planning for failure
> What this US Supreme Court justice can teach us about failure
> What this Nobel Prize winner can teach us about proving others wrong
Sources:
- Demi Moore
- “popcorn movie.”
- Demi Moore in the TV show “General Hospital” (1982-1983)
- “highest-paid actress in Hollywood.”
- “failed to hit the mark with audiences.”
- Then, movie critics piled on
- “box office poison.”
- in 1997, Moore won the “Golden Raspberry”
- The Razzies are Hollywood’s “annual tribute to the year’s worst movies.”
- this time for the movie G.I. Jane
- 87% on Rotten Tomatoes
- 14% on Rotten Tomatoes
- Demi Moore in The Substance (2024)
- “fading celebrity”
- 90% score on Rotten Tomatoes
- In her acceptance speech
- Demi Moore accepting her Golden Globe.
