Welcome to Edition #9 of Ask Gorick Anything. This AMA is part of Gorick's Newsletter, where Harvard career advisor and Wall Street Journal bestselling author Gorick Ng shares what they don't teach you in school about how to succeed in your career.
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→ Read time: 4 min
ASK GORICK ANYTHING
"How do I maintain a professional relationship?"
Subscriber’s question:
“I’m a student preparing for a future career in finance or law and I’m pretty comfortable networking, but I’m less comfortable maintaining the connection. What else do I have to discuss? I’d love your advice on how to maintain my relationships, especially post-internship / career event, etc. when you no longer have something in common with that other person.”
—Claire in New York City, NY, USA
Gorick’s response:
Hi Claire!
Thanks for your question (and awesome job getting a head start).
You’re totally right: When it comes to networking, sparking the relationship is only half the battle.
If you don’t keep the relationship alive—and if the other person doesn’t remember who you are—it’s as if you had never met.
Since you mentioned career events, my first piece of advice is this: avoid large groups at networking receptions.
I was a keynote speaker at both UC Berkeley and Harvard Law School this month and this is what I said in my talk (which was coincidentally on networking): if you’re 1 person in a group of 10, it’s next to impossible to leave anyone remembering your name.
Instead, try to find someone who’s standing alone or with a max of 2 other people. My trick? Keep an eye out for large groups that look like they’re about to break up—and then swoop in when it does.
But back to your question: You’ve met someone (and hopefully in a small group). You’ve had a conversation. You’ve even sent a thank you email. Now what? Here are 4 strategies to try.
(This week’s strategy is pulled from my How to Say It flashcard series. Like what you see? Tap here to see more and use code ‘bemyvalentine’ for 15% off.)
1. INFORM: The next time you find a news item, podcast, video, etc. that might help the other person achieve a goal, share it with them.
How? By saying something like, “I just came across (this interesting piece of information), which reminded me of (some goal we discussed). Passing along in case it's helpful!”
2. OFFER: The next time you meet someone the other person might benefit from meeting (and vice versa), ask both sides if they’d be open to meeting—and, if so, make the introduction.
How? By saying something like, “I recently met (this potentially relevant person) and thought of you because (they can help you achieve your goals). Let me know if you'd like an introduction!"
3. INVITE: The next time you’re invited to an opportunity that the other person might want to attend because the topic or people are relevant to them, pass along the invite.
How? By saying something like, "I was invited to (this event or meeting) and thought of you since (it may help you achieve your goals). [Any interest in joining me? / I won’t be able to go because of a scheduling conflict. Any interest in taking my place?]”
4. PRAISE: The next time you see an announcement from them (say on LinkedIn), congratulate them.
How? "I just saw the news that (you achieved a certain milestone or accomplishment). Congratulations! [So well deserved. / Looking forward to seeing all the impact you’ll make.]”
In the end, it’s all about (A) finding a way to be helpful and (B) finding an excuse to stay top of mind. A few general guidelines that I’ve personally found helpful:
- You don’t want to be spammy—so only reach out when you actually have something useful to share or say.
- You want to be genuinely helpful—so try to uncover the other person’s goals in your early conversations. That way, you can become their eyes and ears.
You won’t be able to inform, offer, invite, and praise everyone you meet, of course—there just aren’t enough hours in the day.
Sometimes, there is such a big age, power, network, or experience imbalance that you simply won’t be able to be of much help. That’s okay! In those cases, simply send the other person a thank you email and move on with your life.
Other times, you will find such a perfect mentor or sponsor that simply sending them the occasional email won’t feel enough. You want to build a deeper relationship.
In these cases, do what former Merck CEO Ken Frazier and former German chancellor Angela Merkel did and find an excuse to work with them—even if it’s as a volunteer. First, work with them. Then, chat with them. Then, build a relationship with them.
See you Monday for our next story!
Gorick
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